Dixon-Ratzlaff Family Blogs

Angel and Random Dude show up. They are hanging out in Dan's office when I wake from napping with the baby. "Hi. I'm so happy you're here, but how did you get in??" "Asia, I KNOW how to pick a lock. Jeez. We're here to help with the new house. Guy, here, is an INSPECTOR."

Ride with them to Neosho house. At first everyone is just excited and pleased with how cool the place is. But then things start going twisty. The house becomes HUGE and keeps morphing and shifting. Endless rooms, endless stairways, endless halls, countless doors. The "owners" are trying much too hard to push me to sign contracts.

Uncle Fedora has a New York accent and is dressed in wild clothes. Uncle Cigar is pushy and leering. Aunt Karen keeps shoving paperwork at me, demanding I sign because my family is "Destined to live in this house." Creepy Kids pretend to be sick while insisting this is the BEST *cough* house *cough* to be stuck home in. *cough* They giggle when I ask why thier parents are making them do this shit. Rooms upon rooms with lavish, but dated furniture. I best remember the "small" upstairs dining room that was the size of a football field. The walls were green and the pink carpeted room was studded with white tables and flower center pieces. Upstairs from here is a full on, staffed, full of overly gleeful children, skating rink. ("Even if you don't like to skate, look at all of this SPACE...")

One upstairs closet is even creepier than the basement kill room... It houses a dripping black void.

Inspector Guy tells me we can't buy. The house is sinking into the ground. He vanishes after telling me. Am 99% sure the entities calling themselves "owners" or maybe the house itself ate him.

As creepy as this all was, it was also vaguely comedic. Everything was just so over the top. Also: Just how STUPID do you think I am, house?? I'm not signing a DAMN thing until Dan gets back to town. The house was not pleased, but let me go.

Angel and Random Dude show up. They are hanging out in Dan's office when I wake from napping with the baby. "Hi. I'm so happy you're here, but how did you get in??" "Asia, I KNOW how to pick a lock. Jeez. We're here to help with the new house. Guy, here, is an INSPECTOR."

Ride with them to Neosho house. At first everyone is just excited and pleased with how cool the place is. But then things start going twisty. The house becomes HUGE and keeps morphing and shifting. Endless rooms, endless stairways, endless halls, countless doors. The "owners" are trying much too hard to push me to sign contracts.

Uncle Fedora has a New York accent and is dressed in wild clothes. Uncle Cigar is pushy and leering. Aunt Karen keeps shoving paperwork at me, demanding I sign because my family is "Destined to live in this house." Creepy Kids pretend to be sick while insisting this is the BEST *cough* house *cough* to be stuck home in. *cough* They giggle when I ask why thier parents are making them do this shit. Rooms upon rooms with lavish, but dated furniture. I best remember the "small" upstairs dining room that was the size of a football field. The walls were green and the pink carpeted room was studded with white tables and flower center pieces. Upstairs from here is a full on, staffed, full of overly gleeful children, skating rink. ("Even if you don't like to skate, look at all of this SPACE...")

One upstairs closet is even creepier than the basement kill room... It houses a dripping black void.

Inspector Guy tells me we can't buy. The house is sinking into the ground. He vanishes after telling me. Am 99% sure the entities calling themselves "owners" or maybe the house itself ate him.

As creepy as this all was, it was also vaguely comedic. Everything was just so over the top. Also: Just how STUPID do you think I am, house?? I'm not signing a DAMN thing until Dan gets back to town. The house was not pleased, but let me go.

I never journal, much, 'cause, well... I'm happy. Got a loving husband, a roof over my head, a munchkin that drives me to drink, but still has his moments of potential. It's nice, I tell ya. Nice. 

I never journal, much, 'cause, well... I'm happy. Got a loving husband, a roof over my head, a munchkin that drives me to drink, but still has his moments of potential. It's nice, I tell ya. Nice. 

True story. David is currently wearing a Spiderman bodysuit/costume, a red Scooby-Doo sun hat, Dan's black leather winter gloves, and a Darth Vader mask. He's running about the house declaring "Behold! I am Obchowock! That kid is OUT there, sometimes. *lol*

True story. David is currently wearing a Spiderman bodysuit/costume, a red Scooby-Doo sun hat, Dan's black leather winter gloves, and a Darth Vader mask. He's running about the house declaring "Behold! I am Obchowock! That kid is OUT there, sometimes. *lol*

I am WEARY. 

I am so sorry for everyone and every pain all of my friends are dealing with this year.

There are pains I can't even relate to. I am SO SORRY. I wish I could do more. Truly. 

I am WEARY. 

I am so sorry for everyone and every pain all of my friends are dealing with this year.

There are pains I can't even relate to. I am SO SORRY. I wish I could do more. Truly. 

Mom is prepping a turkey about the size of my hand and having major issues. She insists that I cancel my classes so I can stay and help. There is a huge gathering out at The Ranch with various foods. Mom and I prep eats all day and put everything in a huge wall length oven to keep warm. In a fit of confusion she puts the turkey in and it never cooks proper. I am disgusted trying to carve through the raw meat. I know it was a simple mistake but can't help but be irritated at the wasted time. 

There is a huge fireworks display outside and UFO's and all kinds of wondrous things. I am angry, again, trying to get David out of the house to see, but he is too busy eating cheese and watching telly with Nanna. She keeps insisting "He's too little to care about those types of things, anyway." My only retort to him is, "Fine pal. Have it your way." I go out and watch a shower of falling stars. 

Mom is prepping a turkey about the size of my hand and having major issues. She insists that I cancel my classes so I can stay and help. There is a huge gathering out at The Ranch with various foods. Mom and I prep eats all day and put everything in a huge wall length oven to keep warm. In a fit of confusion she puts the turkey in and it never cooks proper. I am disgusted trying to carve through the raw meat. I know it was a simple mistake but can't help but be irritated at the wasted time. 

There is a huge fireworks display outside and UFO's and all kinds of wondrous things. I am angry, again, trying to get David out of the house to see, but he is too busy eating cheese and watching telly with Nanna. She keeps insisting "He's too little to care about those types of things, anyway." My only retort to him is, "Fine pal. Have it your way." I go out and watch a shower of falling stars.